haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
