in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
