She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
