Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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