I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Please don't give away my fajitas
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
