Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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