she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
