My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
