Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
