it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
