I wanna bring you to show and tell
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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