Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
