How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
