I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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