Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
