yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
