Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
