idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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