Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
