just come out here and I will go home with you...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
