i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
no, he came in my armpit
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
