This girl is more easily done than said...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
