Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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