I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
