you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
