how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
