are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
