I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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