check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
