You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
