This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Two words: blizzard sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
