I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
