she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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