I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
