i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize