So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
