Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
