I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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