He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
