So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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