Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
