Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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