Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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