I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
