I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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