Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
time to smoke my breakfast
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
