OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
