he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
