if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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