Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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