Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
