Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Houston, we have a squirter
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
