We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
