just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
