Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
