What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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