Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think people are normalizing furries
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
