Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
