oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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