it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
