I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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