Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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